Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Travelling Through Time

Been quite a while...

Quick catch up since last time. Have a partner. She's a mother. Great girlfriend.

Step son is absolute pain in the ass, he ignores orders, yells at people, blames everything on everyone else, and believe me when I say that although all of this sounds like a normal child, think about it as 10 times worse. He spent a few years of his early life going around a few homes (Can't say why) but eventually went back to his mother. He has developed severe separation anxiety, and as a result, is an absolute fucking pain in the ass. Won't leave us alone. Not to mention, his mother (having felt bad about things that happened in the past) feels like she has to make up for everything that happened, so she's extremely weak against him. He loves to take absolute control of that and manipulate the fuck out of her. He sees her as weak and he has her wrapped around his tiny finger.

He doesn't get away with that shit with me. He tries to manipulate me but I don't play that. I'm stricter than his mother. I discipline properly and I don't take his shit. She sees him as a little saint, because she looks at him through mum goggles. I see him for the devil he is.

I'm hoping that he'll grow up a bit more and stop manipulating people.

He's smart as hell, but he uses that intelligence for evil. I told his mother 2 years ago that she will need to teach him to be good, and she needs to put boundaries and discipline more, but she is putty in his hands and he has not developed at all, because whenever I try to be the hardass parent, he runs over to her and she defends him, which allows him to be a little fuck.

I'm convinced he's going to grow up to steal and kill someone, exactly like his father. and no, I'm not exaggerating, his father killed his own daughter. That daughter of course was this child's sister. He never gave a shit about her. When she was alive, he was a greedy fuck because the attention was off of him, so he would kick her in the head and then start crying so that all of the attention was on him to calm him down. Yes, this is clean manipulation from a toddler. He's been manipulating for years now and he won't stop.

Now. The reason why I'm posting is because I wanted to rant.

There's a cross country event on and I was going to go because my partner can't as a result of another important legal matter that needs to be attended to. The thing is, I have a meeting on at the same time for work. Now. The thing about this is that my partner was relying on me to go to cross country. She says that I'm letting him down and that he was really relying on me to go and shit. She's throwing all these accusations on me.

I don't want to work, but as we are a bit financially tight, it's kind of a priority. So what I decided to do was do both. I couldn't attend the meeting first, and then go to cross country just a little later. I had to call up and move a few things around for this, but my partner was throwing so much shit at me for this that I decided to do my best to compromise. So yeah, I was able to figure out a way to do both, but I would just show up to cross country about half an hour late. Keep in mind that this is an event that goes on for an hour and a half, so I would be attending most of it.

Butttttttttttt apparently this isn't good enough. Apparently this doesn't count as me going because I won't be there for the whole thing. Apparently I'm not being a supportive parent because I won't be there for the whole thing. Apparently I'm just not putting any effort in.

Fucking excuse me? I don't want to work, but I do it so we can have money. Keep in mind, I don't want to go to cross country. I love this kid but I barely see him as my own. He has so much evil and aggression in him that I can just simply not feel like he is my child. That's the downside of being a step parent. You never feel like the child is properly yours, and you're never counted as "A real parent" even though you deal with all the shit that biological parents do.

So I'm going to this stupid cross country event for my partner because she can't. But I also have an important meeting on. So after putting in a lot of effort to try to change everything around so that I can earn us some money AND attend this thing that I don't want to go to anyways, I'm still apparently letting everyone down. What do you want me to do? Make a clone so I can be at 2 places at once?

I'm trying my best to be a good partner and a good parent, and it's just never good enough. This shit is really starting to get on my nerves and I honestly don't know what to do. She's just pacing around the house in her she-hulk mood, criticizing EVERYTHING I do. Right or wrong, there's always something wrong, and when she is she-hulking, she loves to point out everything that I do wrong.

I try to be pretty chill in life, and I usually am, but her anxiety makes it so that every single fucking situation is stressful, and as I am the closest person to her, she throws ALL of that stress onto me, which also includes the blame. The child LOVES to blame other people when something goes wrong, and it's ironic that his mother absolutely hates when he does that, considering the fact that he got it directly from her. It's like he got all of the shit aspects from both of his parents, and none of the good ones. Fucking devil incarnate. Sick of this shit.

Chau <3